One of the questions I ask whenever I meet a new family business owner is “What do you most desire?”
What’s the most common response?
Work-Life Balance.
Especially among women in family business leadership.
In many ways, the quest for work-life balance is kind of the holy grail for family business owners.
After all, we care about what we do. We do it with the people we care about. We all want to build a successful business — and we all want a life in which we can actually enjoy that success.
Sounds simple. And yet, “achieving” work-life balance can be tricky for family business owners – often for the very same reasons that we desire it so deeply in the first place.
To begin, we live in a capitalist society where we link people's value with their ability to generate money for a company. That is how it works in corporate America.
And.
When our family business (& often family identity as a while) is also part of that system, that belief can run even deeper. For many of us, our value in the family itself can feel dependent on our ability to generate money.
Now, I want to take a minute to just acknowledge that this may sound a little harsh. I mean, we love our families. And yours may have been incredibly supportive & wonderful. All of this can be true at the same time. One doesn’t negate the other.
But, I do think it’s important to talk about and normalize this experience because the truth is I have not actually ever encountered anyone in a family business (or any business actually) who doesn't have at least a little bit of this at play.
Another question I most frequently ask Family Business Owners is, “Why did you get into your family business?” And there's a lot of us (myself included) who reply, “Because I wanted to make my family proud.”
So, I get it. That’s a very powerful motivation for a lot of us! After all, we’ve grown up in the privilege of this business, so having a desire to honor that lineage by working to contribute to or advance it makes so much sense! Again, I want to normalize this experience because I think so many of us can relate to it.
But it’s also really important to be aware of this link between value, family, and profitability because the truth of the matter is every business is going to come up against financial challenges from time to time.
It’s just the nature of the world. Ebb & flow. Contraction & expansion.
And as family business leaders, we need to feel calm, rooted, and clear during the ebbs & contractions just as much (if not more) during the times of flow & expansion.
After all, a market dip is enough to navigate on its own without throwing the feeling of failing as a husband/wife/daughter/son on top of it!
Untangling these associations is essential - not only to work-life balance, but to overall family & business wellbeing as well!
So, let’s start a bit of that untangling now shall we?
I’d like you to take a minute to pause here. Close your eyes and take a deep breath.
And then ask yourself the following questions:
What’s my relationship rest?
How do I feel about myself when I’m sick or really tired?
How do I feel when I have to cancel an appointment or plans when I’m unwell?
How do I feel about myself when that happens?
How do I feel when other people have to do the same?
It’s time to just start noticing – where we have judgments of ourselves and where we have judgements of others. Because those places where things feel triggering or sticky are providing us with helpful information about the beliefs we may be holding (consciously or unconsciously) about our value in our family and in our family business.
And if any of these spots feel sticky, don’t panic! It just means that there’s a little bit more untangling to be done. And getting professional support in this process is immensely helpful.
To learn more about my work and support in this (and all sorts of other areas of family busines support!) I’d like to invite you to go to https://www.thelegacyevolution.com/book-a-discovery-call and book a Discovery Call. Let’s chat!
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